Should Have Buried My Uncle in Bellwoods

Let’s talk about traditions and rituals in light of COVID, and figure out if what I witnessed this week makes any sense.

Exhibit A: Me watching my Uncle’s funeral via live stream this past Wednesday, while 9 family members stood 6-feet apart from each other, unable to console one another;

Vs.

Exhibit B: Me watching 10, 000 selfish millennials across the street from my home on Trinity Bellwood’s park today, with zero care for COVID consequences, trespassing to pee on the side of my house.

I get it — traditionally, when it’s sunny out, it’s our cue to grab a Mexican blanket, a bottle of rosé and fancy snacks, and head to the park with your friends. Ubiquitous Toronto Spring / Summer standard after hibernating in our heated homes, waiting for winter to end.

It’s also ritualistic to attend a funeral for someone you love; and in my family, it’s tradition to spend 7 days mourning their loss at a Shiva (today would be day 2.5). Unfortunately, due to restrictions, not only was my family restricted from gathering at the cemetery to say goodbye to my incredible Uncle, we can’t fress (eat our emotions), and hold each other. Why? We respectfully succumbed to regulations, and my Uncle’s family and friends had to watch him be lowered into the ground on a screen.

And today, it hit me. As I tried mourning for the loss of my uncle, compounded by not being able to physically attend his funeral, I felt the loss of Toronto as a community.

As I looked out at Bellwood’s today (I live on the East side of the park) I was disturbed and saddened to see the pathetic response of Toronto’s citizens, and no John Tory, they aren’t “smart”.

Did we learn nothing?

What I would like is to tighten the restrictions on parks and loosen up the ones for funerals. The hipsters in the park remind me that maybe I should have broken COVID-code, too. That I should have just pushed my way into the funeral, and broken all the laws. What I would give to stand at the graveside of my funny, kind, love-deserving Uncle, who had to leave this world alone, while young, ignorant, invincible, 20-somethings partied and tonsil hockey-ed their way through the sunny day on my doorstep.

And no, I don’t need your “I’m sorry for your loss; the city is saddened to hear of the loss of your loved ones…” No, Toronto. That’s not where my head’s at.

My father always says there are two kinds of people in this world: problem makers and problem solvers. Both appropriately describe my leaders in this City and Province. To say that I am disappointed is mildly unfair, because you, my city, my province, have been showing up and pulling your weight; but it’s moments like this, when Bellwoods is out of control, that I question our collective patience, and your weak points.

We are all tired and stressed. I lost an Uncle and my job in under a week, and when I see the idiotic nature of people who think COVID won’t catch them, I question what this whole COVID thing is about, anyway (other than it being a horrendous plague, killing way too many people).

It was all for nothing if we didn’t learn a little damn respect...let alone, self-respect.

It’s an understatement to say how pissed I am. Pissed that I had to spend my grieving time staring at crowds this afternoon, wondering why I couldn’t stand at the grave of my dead uncle (may he rest in peace).

Tell me, Premier Ford…tell me, Mayor Tory, and tell me, Councilor Joe Cressy, with all due respect: There is something imbalanced about 10, 000 irresponsible, drunk kids galivanting and making out with each other, clearly not in the same households, as we saw in CTV’s spot on Thursday (which, by the way, was your cue to close down parks this weekend), and me not being able to pay tribute to a man who I loved dearly.

I am furious that there were only 6 bi-law officers on the scene (I counted); shocking, since there were more private security guards per capita at the cemetery to make sure no one broke the rules.

So. This is what needs to happen: Bring those new COVID — testing kits to the park the next time it’s super sunny, and before anyone is allowed entry, be sure they test negative. Oh, right…we can’t do that because it infringes on the rights of people who are just trying to have a good time…

Come on, Toronto — take this rant as a lesson and get smarter. Tighten the park laws until the numbers are at 0, and let more people attend funerals.

You can wait, Toronto Friends — sunnier days are ahead, but there will never be another chance to bury my Uncle.